21 December 2010.
I dont really know what am i thinking right now, it just feels so confusing. I contradict myself, and i have no control over my emotions sometimes. Im trying my best to help her, but i dont want her to rely on me too much. Everyone thinks im happy, im still cheerful. What they dont know is how much i ache inside, how many times i nearly cried. And the times a really cried. Im just putting on a brave front for my own sake, and probably because i dont want the people around me to feel too sad or too hurt. What a scene it will be if everyone’s affected and is so disappointed, sad, hurt. Involuntarily i became the person who shall seem to be not affected, but truthfully, is affected too.
I could sense the change in myself, and it is somehow good. I think i changed during this holidays, as a result of staying home and all the camps. I became more confident of myself and became to accept myself more. I totally wasnt the person i was in the past deep down in my heart.
I really really want to read her mind and find out what she’s thinking and why. Really.
I think i created this tumblr coz i really needed a space to voice out my opinions and feelings about everything and anything and everyone and anyone. Shall be anonymous here :)
